You are perfect, raw and exposed. Just edible as you are without needing spice, sugar, salt or oregano.
The longer we live, the more baggage we acquire as we tread onto this journey of life. I am the sole heir to a collection of artifacts acquired through mom’s postings. During her years in the foreign service, she had lived in several continents-Europe, North America, Asia and the Middle East. With the perks of being an only child comes the hard reality of developing a sense of responsibility at a very young age. At 25, I acted as the power of attorney on the sale of mom’s first apartment in KL. Unfortunately, the plan of value-adding to mom’s retirement nest egg was thwarted by a pathological liar thief. It was all my fault. It was an expensive lesson, no doubt. But I bear no regrets, only faith in the existence of soul mates among us.
How easy it is to just hate. But I believe in love. In my heart, I have loved a few. Those I have loved, I could never stop loving. As I acquire more love, I learnt that there is no point in being stingy in showing affection for someone that you share a connection with.
The law of affection
When is it appropriate to be calling someone sayang or love or any of the terms of endearment we usually call our loved ones? According to most of the locals, bila dah ‘steady’. The definition of ‘steady’ in this context means you are courting each other with an end objective to get married. So they save the terms of endearment (TOE) until they get the sign that indicates, “Yup, she’s the one.”
What if I don’t believe in marriage? Does that exclude me from ever being a honey or someone’s precious? Does that exclude me from being loved or being the one? Those are the questions running through my pretty little head. By the grace of my maker, I am delectable. Be that as it may, there is such a thing as using the TOEs inappropriately or way too soon that it evokes contempt or feeling of being disrespected. I certainly cannot blame the Adams for feeling the love but if we are colleagues and I am clearly not in your league, don’t even think of calling me honey or baby.
Love is never racist. A misdemeanor is usually caused by the skewed ideology coming out of a repressed society. We should all practice expressing our feelings more aptly, appropriately.
I am guilty for being generous with my TOE. Please note though that generosity does not necessarily indicate interest beyond friendship on my part. Sometimes it is just a matter of good PR. Allow me to draw the TOE guideline to make communicating what we feel better.
- Let the woman lead. When a woman consistently use those TOE on you, it just means that you mean more to her than the average Joe. Do not feel constricted and just cherish the moment.
- It is polite to reciprocate. After all it creates a winning situation for all parties. Just don’t over do it because too much can make the expressions of true feelings contrived.
- Love is the answer. The rule of thumb is if you feel it, say it.
- Love is universal. When you call the service staff in an endearing way, it makes them feel good about themselves and what they are doing. It creates empowerment.
- Never underestimate the seductive power of a good vocabulary.
- Reserve the good ones for the crème de la crème. Give the lead characters in your story their own exclusive or unique TOE.
- Endearing can be annoying if you are dealing with the legends of the fall type. Sometimes, you do have to switch off the heat. Listen and you will know when to switch off.
- Put some sugar on it. Sweet words are the best cure for the heart without the complications of diabetes.
My mom calls me “sayang” and the variations of. The best thing I learnt from mom is that when it comes to love, always carry it forward. Express not suppress.
I love to have sex but that does not mean that I would fuck a guy just because I am single. Most of all, I am sick and tired of these married men and their hypocrisy. Since when that a business deal should include me or else it is a no deal? Whatever happened to mutual attraction and respect for women equality? What happened to the art of woo and men respecting and fulfilling what women want?
We may all be hookers whoring for love, there are no limits to what we would do or sacrifice for the right value we get from a relationship. But it does not mean that we are unethical. Being single in my late thirties, I am presented with options. Those that get to see the best of me are those who has respect for my past, my personal space, my need for privacy and alone-time. Those who appreciates my brain as much as my beauty. Those who are contributing to what I will become. Only those will be part of the story in my journey of finding the king (or kings) of my throne.
“There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.”
~F. Scott Fitzgerald
~The woman from Mars
Your love feeds me,
Whenever I am hungry for a little intimacy.
When I am lonely, you comfort me;
On my virtual window.
Out of sight but close at heart,
I silently swear we will never part.
You are part of my story,
My joy and my sorrow are yours,
Your sunshine and rain are mine,
Two hearts and lives intertwine,
In time becoming significant;
And eventually becomes One.
A love like mine, happens really fast,
Takes you to the moon and back in a blast.
I will take you for a ride,
You will be a rocketeer by my side.
I fit like a glove in your spaceship,
Your music collection I will worship.
I will read your mind, know your dreams and desires;
Give you what you need, when you want it.
A mother to your babies or walk through fire,
Your Theresa or Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Can you feel the energy?
Electrifying, beguiling, uplifting.
Tesla would have deemed worthy,
Edison would have been driven crazy.
Under your spell, mesmerizing!
Should I have let you wonder a little while longer?
Play it coy, hard to get, mysterious siren-loner;
Or should I stop pretending?
Extend the misery or embrace love?
I choose to surrender to love…
Love that touches me at my core,
Every time we kiss.
Love that makes me want to explore,
A physical bliss.
A love that is unconditional, emotional, rational;
Filled with wonderlust of hope and gold.
A legacy of the fast and the furious gone bold.
Our story is yet to be told.
One that will never be over.
It is written in the clouds, in the constellation of stars;
They will keep you safe for me wherever you are.