Who’s your daddy?
When we are in a relationship, we would think the world of our partner, put he/she on a pedestal, make ourselves believe that he or she is a superhero that has come into our lives to save the day. They really are superheroes for the way they make us feel alive, loved and cared for day in and day out. The problem is when you start living with your superhero, you would realize that they are human after all with the farting, the burping, the snoring, the morning breath and the habits that may just vex you.
Over time, we would stop seeing them as the superheroes that they are and we would demote them to humans, with flaws and all; take them off the pedestal that we have put them on without realizing that when they get off the pedestal, they would take our desire for them, with them. Sex would no longer be something to look forward to or plan for and it would start feeling like an obligation or a chore.
How do we turn it back to the way it was when the sex was good and left us glowing for days basking in that euphoric bliss that only love and intimacy could bring?
I have lived with a man for 10 years and have been on my own again for 5 years. Based on my own experience, this much I know is true.
A space between you and your significant other would allow you to miss each other’s presence, to down play and trivialise human flaws and to remember his godliness or her inner goddess. Space helps us to remember why we fall in love and of all the superhero qualities that attracted us to our partners.
Be an individual
Along with that, is the quest for fun and adventure that makes the journey all the more meaningful and memorable. We should never stop wanting to discover what the world has to offer on our own as individuals and together as a couple. Being part of an entity should strengthen who you are as a person and not diminish your individuality.
Make continuous effort
It is human nature that we make effort to win the heart of another but when we do, we fall into a comfort zone and the effort stops. The thrill is in keeping what we have fresh rather than in the chase. It is important to continue looking good and dressing up even though we have seen each other naked a million times. It makes a difference when we smell nice from top to bottom making the journey south a delight rather than a drag. It feels good to keep hearing those compliments reminding us how our partner sees us even though we know how special we are. We are all superheroes but sometimes we are also sidekicks to each other, feeding each other’s ego and providing support in ways that we can; physically and emotionally.
Here’s to never forgetting that we are in relationships with our very own superheroes with human qualities and to never losing the desire for them despite their human ways.